The Dos and Don’ts of Slaying Your First Seder Vogue
DIY Passover Seder – Boulder Jewish News
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The Order and Meaning of the Passover Seder
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The Seder Plate My Jewish Learning
What's a seder? The seder, a festive holiday meal, actually means 'order.' It is called this because the meal is done in a certain order which takes us from slavery to freedom. The Haggadah Haggadah הַגָּדָה Literally, “telling.” This is the Jewish text that sets forth the order of the Passover seder. Plural: Haggadot. Passover is traditionally spent with family and friends, but with coronavirus curtailing travel plans and social interactions, many are facing the prospect of celebrating Passover alone. In response to those asking for guidance on how to prepare for their Seder for the first time, below is a list of To-Dos & FAQs. Dos and Don'ts at the Seder by Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner. DO start your preparations early enough. Make sure your house is sparkling clean, and your table as beautiful as possible. Invite as a guest someone who is far from his own home. DO have uniform Haggadot with good translations and perhaps transliteration for everyone at the table, in order ... The word haggadah ( הַגָּדָה) comes from a Hebrew word meaning 'tale' or 'parable.' The haggadah contains an outline or choreography for the seder. The word seder (סֵדֶר) means 'order' in Hebrew; indeed, there is a very specific order to the seder service and meal. The peculiarly American annual communal event known until recently as the “Third Seder” emerged in the 1920s and 1930s as a secular (sometimes even antireligious) Yiddish cultural and perhaps socialist alternative to the traditional, biblically based home and family ritual that constitutes the core of Pesah observance. ... Dos iz dos oreme ... Seder plate: The seder plate (there’s usually one per table) holds at least six of the ritual items that are talked about during the seder: the shankbone, karpas, chazeret, charoset, maror, and egg. While the booming seder plate industry would like you to buy a beautiful, ornate, and expensive plate, you can use any plate. And now, let’s end with Gila’s dos and don’ts for how to do a Seder for one: PERSONAL SEDER DOS: Try to get excited about it. Appreciate that you have a choice of how and where you do Seder, and that if you really want to do it in your own home, you can. Run the Seder exactly how you want it to go, and include any segulot or customs you want. The Passover Haggadah demands that each person see him or herself as having personally come forth out of Egypt. Accordingly, the seder is one of the most sensory-heavy rituals of the Jewish year. During the seder, we don’t just tell the story of the Exodus, we see, smell, feel, and taste liberation.. Many of the elements of this sensory experience appear on the seder plate (k’arah), which ... The Seder plate is the centerpiece of the table. Six different foods are used as symbols that highlight different parts of the exodus, including an egg and a pretty gnarly shank bone. The Dos and Don’ts of Passover Seder for Non-Jewish Newbies . So you’re going to your first Passover Seder, but you don’t know the first thing about it. Don’t be nervous! If you’re a newbie, just keep calm and follow these essential dos and don’ts.
Israel e seus Inimigos
2020.09.15 02:44 josianemoreiraIsrael e seus Inimigos
Tudo começou na época de Abraão, quando ele e Sara tiveram seu filho Isaque, o filho da promessa, que deu origem ao povo judeu pp.dito. Porém, antes Abraão havia tido um filho com sua escrava Hagar, Ismael, que casando-se com uma egípcia deu origem a doze príncipes que povoaram aquela região. Descendentes de Abraão, Ló e o filho rebelde de Isaque, Esaú, se misturam com os ismaelitas, dando origem aos povos vizinhos (adonitas, amonitas, amalequitas, moabitas, hagarenos, ismaelitas) que juntaram-se aos filisteus, cananeus e outros povos com um único objetivo: – destruir a linhagem da promessa, Israel. Depois vieram os babilônios, os persas, os gregos, os romanos, os turcos, os árabes, e mesmo vários segmentos do cristianismo, como ocorrido na época dos cruzados, a inquisição, os pogroms, o holocausto, as intifadas e agora os terroristas do Hamás, Hisbolah, Isis, e outras facções do Islam, sempre com o mesmo objetivo, a aniquilação de Israel. Clique aqui e encontre Camiseta Evangelica com temas judaicos Se o judeu é o povo da Bíblia, então o maior legado de Israel para a humanidade é seu livro divino e inspirado por D´us. O que diz então este livro sobre esta hereditária perseguição e desejo de aniquilar Israel, varrendo-o do mapa? Foi então que me concentrei nas passagens bíblicas que pudessem trazer luz ou pelo menos uma explicação razoável no sentido de entender a importância de Israel para as nações através do tempo e do plano divino. Portanto, não há como entender a inimizade dos países vizinhos e mesmo a maioria das nações que se posiciona contra Israel sem levarmos em consideração os aspectos espirituais deste conflito milenar. Meu amigo, apresento a seguir, um contexto bíblico-espiritual na tentativa de explicar o porquê deste conflito. Evidentemente, mesmo os que não crêem na Bíblia poderão conhecer um pouco da história. Antes de começar, eu gostaria de apresentar neste momento a minha conclusão final: A razão de toda guerra e conflito com Israel está relacionado ao Tikkun Olam (A redenção universal) que virá em breve sobre o planeta Terra e sobre todo o universo. Israel foi comissionado divinamente como nação coorporativa para esta nobre missão. Entretanto, esta missão não o coloca melhor do que nenhuma outra nação, mas faz recair sobre ele uma grande responsabilidade pela qual Israel tem pago um altíssimo preço ao longo de sua existência. A grande verdade é que as forças opositoras do mal ou das trevas, que tanto a Bíblia menciona, sabem que pouco tempo lhes resta para agir (Ap 12:12). Israel como povo muitas vezes tem se esquecido, ao longo de sua própria história, dessa nobre missão, desse chamado divino e irrevogável. Mas, se recorrermos ao Tanhuma Kdoshim, 10 (um antigo Midrash), escrito antes do Tamuld da Babilônia, veremos que os rabinos da época já entendiam a importância de Israel no contexto universal. Ou seja, Israel é o centro da terra na perspectiva messiânica. Assim, o centro do mundo seria Israel, do mesmo modo que o centro de Israel seria Jerusalém. O centro de Jerusalém seria o Templo; o centro do Templo seria o Aron Hakodesh (a Arca) e o Centro da Arca seria a Torá. Representação do Midrash Tanhuna Kdoshim: A Palavra do Eterno como centro do universo
Mas, o que é a Torá? No profundo sentido espiritual seria a Palavra de D´us, Sua “davar”ou “logos”. Para mim, a Torá é o Verbo que se fez carne e habitou entre nós, segundo João (1:14), apóstolo e seguidor de Yeshua, o Messias, em sua primeira vinda. Na sua primeira vinda, Yeshua veio para trazer as Boas Novas de redenção para a humanidade; veio como profeta, como Filho do homem (Ben Adam), como gostava de ser chamado. Mas, em sua segunda vinda, virá como Rei (Ben David) e Sacerdote para implantar o Seu Reino Messiânico de Justiça, Paz e Alegria (Rm 14:17), reinando sobre as nações de Jerusalém, exatamente do Templo de Salomão que será reconstruído no Monte Moriá, segundo o profeta Ezequiel. O profeta Ezequiel, em exílio na Babilônia no ano 598, A.C, entendeu claramente o porquê de Israel estar em exílio por 70 anos. Israel vivia como as demais nações na tríade da idolatria, adultério e apostasia. Ezequiel vê Israel saindo dos propósitos divinos e em luta constante com seus vizinhos. Depois, num outro tempo, Ezequiel vê as nações da terra marchando contra Israel. Sobre isto, gostaria, para efeitos didáticos, fazer uma “midrash” de vários textos bíblicos, resumindo no seguinte: Os três tipos de inimigos de Israel em três tempos: I. Primeiro Tempo – Os vizinhos inimigos de Israel. Os capítulos 25 a 32 de Ezequiel mencionam os vizinhos de Israel como seus inimigos. Todos tem em comum um único propósito: destruir Israel! Quem são eles? Amon, Moabe, Edom, Filístia, Tiro, Sidon e Egito. Asafe, salmista contemporâneo do Rei David, escreveu no Salmo 83 que os vizinhos inimigos de Israel são: Edom (descendentes de Esaú), Ismaelitas (descendentes de Ismael), Moabe (descendentes de Ló com sua filha mais velha), Hagarenos descendentes de Hagar), Gebal (fenícios e parte do Líbano), Amom (filhos de Ló com a filha mais nova), Amaleque (descendentes de Esaú), Filisteus (habitavam em Jope e Gaza), Tiro e Assíria (parte da Síria e Iraque). No Salmo 83, é dito que esses povos formaram uma liga, um conselho (federação) com um único objetivo: Riscar Israel do Mapa! (Vinde, e apaguemo-los para que não sejam nação, nem seja lembrado mais o nome de Israel – verso 4). Ou seja, podemos fazer uma correlação entre os textos de Ezequiel (25-32) com o Salmo 83 e chegar à conclusão que todos esses povos foram inimigos ferrenhos de Israel e tentaram destruí-lo, impedindo que o povo hebreu conquistasse e tomasse posse da Terra prometida a Abraão, a terra de Canaã. Interessante notar que nenhum desses povos prevaleceu na terra. Todos esses povos possuem vestígios no atual povo árabe, hoje os vizinhos de Israel. E o mais interessante é que o mesmo espírito e desejo de destruir Israel continua vivo. Portanto, Israel deverá estar atento sempre aos seus novos “antigos” vizinhos. Resumindo: a) Esses antigos vizinhos foram e serão ainda derrotados no futuro segundo o salmista. Isto nos mostra que existirão países vizinhos de Israel que tentarão alcançar seus antigos objetivos: Apagar Israel do Mapa. Podemos então dizer que esses vizinhos tentarão impedir a existência de Israel, isto é, do povo e da terra de Israel ainda nos dias de hoje. b) Motivo espiritual: impedir que as profecias messiânicas se cumpram quanto à terra de Israel e seu povo para a chegada do Messias e de seu Reino universal (Tikkun Olam). II) Segundo Tempo – A coligação das nações, inimigos de Israel. Representada em Apocalipse como a Grande Babilônia (Ap 17 a 20) constituída por dez reis ou nações ou coligações das nações, onde aparecem figuras como o Dragão (satanás), a Besta e o Falso Profeta (Ap19). A tríade do espírito da Babilônia é a idolatria, a prostituição e a apostasia. Podemos dizer que idolatria é tudo aquilo que afasta o homem do verdadeiro D´us; a prostituição é tudo aquilo que corrompe relacionamentos e valores morais, e apostasia é a conseqüência natural de afastar o homem do Seu Criador, da fé, das bênçãos e promessas. Hoje, vemos claramente que as nações estão se alinhando para a formação desta liga babilônica, onde Israel é o centro dessa oposição. É interessante notar que a Europa tem sido invadida por mulçumanos oriundos dos países árabes e da África, principalmente. Nota-se também que os países europeus tornam-se cada vez mais antagonistas ao Estado judeu. Facções da ideologia nazista tem crescido no mundo todo, bem como o antissemitismo. O espírito do mal que nos tempos bíblicos tentava impedir Israel de se estabelecer e existir, aparece ao longo da história na destruição do primeiro Templo por Nabucodonosor, do segundo Templo por Tito de Roma, seguido depois pelos Cruzados, Inquisição, Pogroms, Holocausto, intifadas, e no momento, a coligação de terroristas islâmicos. Objetivo final: Tentar impedir a vinda (retorno) do Messias e de Seu Reino Milenar, o Tikkun Olam. Pois segundo as profecias, o Messias Yeshua volta para Israel, não para outro país. Porém, essa “babilônia” será destruída na batalha no Vale do Armagedon, ou Megido, ou Vale de Jesreel, o vale do juízo, onde o Messias adentrará com seus eleitos e vitoriosos, destruindo a besta e o falso profeta, lançando-os no abismo, no lago de fogo e enxofre. O Dragão, satanás, será preso por mil anos (Ap19:20 e 20:2). Quase todos os profetas bíblicos desde Isaías até Malaquias fizeram menção quanto ao “Iom há Din” o grande e temível dia do Senhor, o dia do juízo das nações. III) Terceiro Tempo – Coligação das nações com Gogue e Magogue contra Israel no final da era milenar Mesmo após o Reino de D´us ser implantado nesta terra pelo Messias Yeshua (para aqueles que Nele crêem), aparecerão no final da era milenar povos e nações que se rebelarão contra todo o propósito deste Reino messiânico. Inacreditável, mas isto acontecerá segundo as profecias. O profeta Zacarias (Zc 14:16) menciona que neste período de 1000 anos de paz na terra, as nações subirão de ano a ano a Jerusalém para adorarem o grande Rei Messias e para celebrarem a festa de Sucot (Tabernáculos), mostrando a paz no mundo e a alegria por termos um Rei soberano sobre todas as nações. Nesta época haverá três tipos de pessoas vivendo na terra. O primeiro será constituído por aqueles crentes em Yeshua que morreram no Messias, mas que ressuscitaram por ocasião que antecedeu a Sua vinda, no arrebatamento da Igreja, judeus e gentios juntos no Messias (I Te 4:13:16). O segundo tipo foram aqueles crentes que não passaram pela morte, mas também tiveram seus corpos glorificados na vinda de Yeshua (ITe13:15) e o terceiro tipo serão pessoas que nascerão durante a era milenar. Eles levarão uma vida normal no período milenar, mas no final do milênio satanás será solto e levará grande parte desses a uma rebelião contra D´us e o Messias. Porém, serão destruídos pelo fogo que cairá dos céus (Ap20:7-10). Quem serão esses povos que se rebelarão contra D´us no Reino milenar de Yeshua? Ezequiel, nos capítulos 38 e 39, e também Ap 20:8, mencionam Gogue, chefe de Meseque e Tubal, Pérsia, Cuche, Pute, Gomer e Togarma. Quem são esses povos? Gogue representa uma entidade de satanás. Meseque (filho de Jafé, deu origem aos europeus); Tubal (assírios); Persa (Irã); Cuxe (descendentes de Cão, os Líbios, p. ex.); Gomer (descendentes do filho mais velho de Jafé, os Cimérios, arianos que vieram da Ucrânia e Rússia) e finalmente Togarma (povo de Carmequis, Turquia). Muito interessante analisar que esses povos serão os arqui-inimigos de Israel e do reino messiânico. Objetivo final: no final do milênio, segundo a Bíblia, haverá o juízo final e a ressurreição de todos aqueles que não passaram pela primeira ressurreição (dos salvos em Yeshua). Portanto, o objetivo de Gogue e Magogue com suas nações coligadas será impedir o Juízo final, por isso, tentarão pela última vez destruir a sede do Reino Milenar, Jerusalém – Israel. Em outras palavras, satanás tentará anular o juízo final e a condenação que virá para seus seguidores (Ap 20:7-15). Indicação das nações da coligação “Gogue” e “Magogue” PORÉM, HÁ UM GRANDE MISTÉRIO QUE NÃO PODEMOS ENTENDER, não nos sendo revelado: – Como sendo o D´us de Abraão, Isaque e Jacó, o D´us de Israel, um Deus definido pela Bíblia como AMOR , pode ser chamado pela própria Bíblia de D´us dos Exércitos de Israel (ICr 11:9;ICr17:24; I Sm17:45) ou o D´us das batalhas (Sl24:8; ISm25:28) ou o D´us que adestra as mãos de Israel para a guerra (Sl144:1)? Lembremo-nos que D´us não muda (Ml 3:6). Ele é o mesmo D´us de ontem, de hoje e de sempre. Portanto, concluímos que Ele continua sendo o D´us dos Exércitos de Israel nos dias de hoje. Eu não posso entender como um D´us definido como amor, paz, justiça, alegria e tantos outros atributos, pode se posicionar ainda hoje como o D´us dos Exércitos de Israel! Isto é difícil de entender, mas é verdade. Poucos conseguem ver que D´us trabalha em tempos e propósitos consecutivos: Adão perde pelo livre arbítrio o Reino terreno sob o comando celestial e toda a humanidade tem sofrido grandemente as consequências deste pecado da separação: guerras, fome, miséria, corrupção, perda dos valores morais, deterioração da família, etc. Portanto, D´us dá inicio ao processo de Redenção, escolhendo primeiro um povo e uma terra para se manifestar, mostrando seu propósito, dando a este povo a Sua Torá. Este povo precisaria de aprendizado, de disciplina e de temor a D’us. Assim, D´us o coloca por 430 anos para ser escravo no Egito. Depois, D´us através de Moisés o leva para a terra de Canaã, a terra prometida para que jamais deixassem aquele local. Logo a seguir, D´us levanta seus profetas que preconizam e ensinam sobre a era messiânica e o papel de Israel, em específico, da Tribo de Judá, da qual sairia o Messias em sua primeira vinda. Um grande feito divino que marcou o mundo antes e depois dele foi a redenção individual do Messias há dois mil anos, permitindo às nações, através do Mashiach, usufruir das alianças, das promessas e das bênçãos de Israel. O muro de separação foi quebrado entre Israel e as nações. D´us queria que Seu Reino começasse em cada coração, ainda no interior, na alma, tanto para os judeus como para os gentios que crêem em Seu Filho, o Mashiach!(Ef 2:11-22). Dois mil anos se passaram. D´us permite que Israel subsistisse entre os povos, ajuntando-os dos cantos da terra e levando-os para a terra de seus pais. Israel floresce como povo e nação, preparando-se para o grande dia em que seus olhos serão abertos e receberão o messias Yeshua como Seu Rei (Rm11:26). Este tempo se aproxima e aqui faremos um parêntese, uma pausa, para que as profecias messiânicas continuem a se cumprir em Israel e no mundo. Se realmente cremos que Ele é amor, então, só entenderemos no final e no tempo messiânico o porquê de todo este conflito com Israel através da história humana. Lá saberemos e comprovaremos que realmente a humanidade receberá o melhor Dele, o Seu amor! Ele só ama Israel porque ama todas as nações. Ele quer o melhor para as nações e, por isso, escolheu Israel e seu povo para ser a luz para as nações (Isaias 42:6) através Daquele (O Mashiach) que vêm Dele para reinar sobre toda a terra, estabelecendo o Seu shalom, a Paz! Yeshua, em sua primeira vinda, falou muito deste Reino de D´us que começa primeiro em nosso coração. Mas em breve ele será real! A terra viverá em paz, Israel florescerá e dará frutos ao mundo. As nações da terra subirão a Jerusalém para adorar o grande Rei. O próprio Yeshua, quando se despediu de seus discípulos num Seder de Pesach (Ceia de Páscoa), disse que desde aquele momento não beberia mais do fruto da videira (vinho, kidush de Pesach) até aquele dia em que conosco beberá de novo, no Reino do Pai (Mt 26:29). Ele mesmo declarou à Jerusalém: “Declaro-vos, pois, que, desde agora, já não me vereis, até que venhais a dizer: “Baruch há Ba BeShem Adonai” – Bendito o que vem em nome do Senhor! (Mt 23:39)
I have a few questions: 1) I see some seder guides telling to do "bore pri haetz" over apple pieces (without dipping into honey) or figs etc. However, do I have to do that although I do motzi first? My siddur says to do both. But normally when doing motzi first one doesn't need to... 2) Can I use any kind of beans and peas for Rubia? For example, kidney beans or black beans? 3) Can I use zucchini for K'ra? I don't like pumpkin or butternut squash. 4) Can I use a spring onion for Karti instead of a leak?
2020.09.08 03:25 Droid2Win31 [M4F] FL - Just a city boy, born and raised in... not south detroit :D
Posted this a month or so back, got some good response but nothing lasted. Figure I would throw this out again. I was born and raised in NJ, but I live in FL now. Anyway, welcome to the COVID twilight zone. We all know the drill, social distancing can be real lonely. I'm 31, single white male. Pic: https://imgur.com/69wIZyN. Overall, my life is going really well. I've got a great job, I own a home, have a wonderful family, good friends, etc. I'm a fiercely independent guy, so I have a very clear idea of what I want in a woman. Maybe that makes me too picky, but if I'm ever going to settle down with someone I want it to be the right someone. More about me? I'm a huge scifi nerd, and I'm proud of it. I work as a software engineer, so I can probably out-tech you. I'm much more inclined to buy a piece of computer tech than a new outfit, although I have been refreshing my wardrobe a bit more of late out of necessity (clothes only last so long). I have a dry, snarky sense of humor; I tease mercilessly and make fun of every situation even when it is inappropriate to do so (I don't have an off switch there). I'm highly organized and like to plan things out, I've got spreadsheets on top of spreadsheets on top of spreadsheets here. Values-wise, I was raised Jewish, but I'm very much an atheist these days. I still enjoy some parts of Judaism, but mostly the parts where I get together with my family (pre-COVID, of course :( ). Family matters to me, and I'm willing to put aside my issues with religion to enjoy a Passover Seder with my family. I'm also pretty liberal and eagerly awaiting November when we can get our wannabe dictator out of office. I care deeply about social justice and if it wasn't for this pandemic I would've been out marching with #BLM every damn day. You? I'm not picky about age/race. Physical attraction is obviously important, but I'm attracted to women of every ethnicity. Fellow atheists/agnostics are always preferred, but I'm ok with a Jewish woman, or a Christian woman who doesn't care about it beyond setting up a Christmas tree. If you absolutely believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, we probably won't work. Also, if you in any way like what Trump is doing in office, or are racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc, we will not work. Historically I haven't been into long distance, but I'm open to meeting anyone within the USA. Just trying something new. Maybe it'll just be some nice online chats, but if it evolves into something more so be it. If you live in or close to FL, that's an added bonus. If you liked any part of this, I prefer a message over Reddit Chat. Then we can find an alternative chat app, because goddamnit the communication features on this site suck haha.
2020.08.29 23:29 brady201Thoughts on leftist commentators
Who are some of your favorite leftist YouTube commentators/twitch streamers/podcasts? And what are you opinions on some of the more notable ones: David packman, Kyle kulinski, cenk uygur, destiny, Sam Seder, vaush, etc.? Who do you think is the best representation of leftist commentary And would suggest a right winger watch to learn more about our side of the issues?
2020.08.25 12:12 charlatansamharrisIDW fan tells Sam Seder he still needs to reach out to Eric Weinstein. He replied: "I spoke to that dude for an hour before his show and he still let Sam Harris call me a psychopath. What do I have to do, send him a muffin basket?"
2020.08.25 04:49 n3v3r0dd0r3v3nShould we try to reach out to left media figures and present left wing/statistical anti-lockdown arguments to them?
Was just thinking about this because someone in another thread mentioned how badly the Chapos shit the bed in supportinng lockdowns. Sam Seder has also been aggressively/obnoxiously pro lockdown. I’m wondering if it would be worth it for us to try to change their minds, from a left wing (and statistical) perspective. Make it clear that it’s not just Trump supporters who have been criticizing this shit. Any thoughts? With Sam Seder’s show they do take calls sometimes afaik, and the Chapo people are pretty active on twitter, so there are some options there
I'm a 49 y/o man, living in Pennsylvania, that has never really been "into" religion, and was raised as a secular Jew. I'm not at all over the top on that angle (I don't dress or outwardly identify as Jewish, nor do I participate in any of the religious rituals involved, other than an occasional holiday Seder or in the occasional Jewish wedding or funeral rite), but I do definitely come across as someone that grew up around (if not "in") that set of values and assumptions. I'm not exactly an atheist, but then I am not really a theist either. My own particular version of that agnosticism is that IF there is a supernatural being that is either a creator God or a more passive observer, it's nature, by definition, would be so far beyond our comprehension that stating with any certainty that it exists (or does not exist) and has any characteristics in common with us as humans is just the height of hubris and self-exceptionalism, and equally presumptuous that it would have any part in our lives. It's like expecting us as humans to be aware of the feelings and dreams of every amoeba in every pond in the world. With that framework in mind, I have recently participated in a pair of Quaker weddings and a service, and I have to admit that I find myself drawn to the inward-focused exploration of the nature of the universe and the "divine", and would like to explore that further. The problem is that I have nowhere really to start from, and I am afraid that my aforementioned framework puts me at the very edge of what is acceptable in a potential adherent or convert. Also potentially troublesome is that I am ex-military and currently work for the US Department of Defense. I am in no way involved in weapons themselves, but I don't know if my employment makes me complicit in the very things that I think Quakerism finds abhorrent. So, where do I start? Am I doomed from the start as a result of my employment and my hesitation around the nature of the Divine?
2020.08.23 17:26 God_Is_Good123What Is This Sub All About?
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This is a KJV Only subreddit. One does not need to be KJVO themselves in order to participate in this sub, but they do have to quote strictly from the KJV if they ever decide to make reference to the holy Scriptures while having discussions on here. Allowances are made for other versions to be quoted if, and only if, the KJV is quoted right beside it (as to allow others to be able to compare and contrast).
9. General Prohibitions
This rule covers general, broad-spectrum prohibitions on specific types of content. The following content is not allowed:
a) Political discussion (unless it has to do with the fulfillment of Biblical prophecy and can be proven as so).
b) Promotion of liberal theology. For a fuller explanation of what this entails, click here.
10. Zero Tolerance
Failure to abide by these rules is absolutely not tolerated. A second or third offense will result in a temporary, or permanent ban. Obvious trolls are immediately banned. Rude and nonconstructive comments may be removed.
Statement of Faith
Section 1 – The Scriptures
The sole basis for our belief is the Bible, composed of the sixty-six books of the Tanakh and B'rit Hadasha (the Old and New Testaments). The Scriptures, in their entirety, are inspired by God and are inerrant in the original manuscripts. This was accomplished, not by dictation, but by God superintending the human authors in such a manner that, using their individual personalities, they composed and recorded, without error, God’s revelation to man. The inerrancy of the Scriptures extends to every category to which they speak, including faith, practice, science, and history. The Scriptures are our full and final authority being the complete revelation of God (Proverbs 30:5-6; Isaiah 40:7-8; Jeremiah 31:31; Matthew 5:18; John 10:35; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; 2 Peter 1:20-21; Hebrews 1:2 and Revelation 22:18-19).
Section 2 – God
We believe that there is one true, holy God, infinitely perfect, and eternally existing in three persons – Father, Son and Ruach Hakodesh (Holy Spirit). Each possess equally all the attributes of deity and the characteristics of personality (Deuteronomy 6:4; Isaiah 43:10; 48:16; Matthew 28:19; Acts 5:3-4; 2 Corinthians 13-14; Hebrews 1:8).
Section 3 – The Father
We believe God is Father over all creation, thus its sovereign ruler. He is Father of Israel, whom He has chosen as His unique people. He is Father of Messiah Yeshua whom He sent into the world to redeem mankind and creation. He is Father of all who trust in His gracious provision of the forgiveness of sin in Yeshua (Exodus 4:22; Matthew 3:17; John 1:12; 3:16; Acts 17:29; Galatians 3:26; 1 Peter 1:3).
Section 4 – The Son
God the Son became flesh in the person of Yeshua of Nazareth, the promised Messiah of Israel, who was conceived by the Spirit of God and born of the Jewish virgin Miriam (Mary). He is both fully God and fully man, united forever without division or confusion (Isaiah 7:14; 9:6-7; Jeremiah 23:5-6; Micah 5:2; John 1:1, 14; 8:58; 10:30-33; Colossians 2:9, Hebrews 1:3). Messiah Yeshua died as a substitutionary sacrifice for man’s sin, and all who believe in Him are declared righteous on the basis of His shed blood. The Messiah’s substitutionary death was the purchased price for our redemption and was foreshadowed in the Tanakh in the slaying of the Passover lamb, the sin and trespass offering, and the sin offering on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement (Leviticus 16:15-16; 17:11; Psalm 22:16; Isaiah 53:4-6; 10-12, Daniel 9:26; Zechariah 12:10; Mark 10:45; Romans 3:24-26; 5:8-9; 2 Corinthians 5:14, 21; 1 Peter 3:18). Jesus the Messiah arose from the dead bodily, ascended into heaven, is seated at the right hand of the Father and will one day return for all who believe in Him. Presently He serves as our Kohen Gadol Elyon (Great High Priest) according to the priesthood of Melchizedek. As such, He is intercessor and advocate before the Father on behalf of all believers (Genesis 14:17-20; Psalm 16:10-11; 110:4; Zechariah 6:12-13; Acts 1:9-11; 1 Corinthians 15:3-8; Hebrews 7:1-25; 8:1; 1 John 2:1).
Section 5 – The Ruach Hakodesh (Holy Spirit)
The Ruach Hakodesh is a person. He possesses all the distinct attributes of deity and hence He is God. He does not call attention to Himself and is ever present to glorify and testify of Messiah Yeshua (Genesis 1:2; Psalm 13:7; John 15:26-27; 1 Corinthians 2:10-11; 2 Corinthians 13:14). During the period of the Old Testament, the Spirit of God was active in creating the world and temporarily gifting, empowering and filling individuals for special service (Genesis 1:2; Exodus 31:3; Numbers 27:18; Judges 6:34). The Spirit of God is active today, convicting the world of sin, righteousness, and judgment. He regenerates, seals, and sets the believer apart to a holy life. He teaches the truth and energizes believers in prayer, worship and service. At the moment of salvation, each believer is immersed by the Spirit of God into the Body of Messiah and is permanently indwelt by the Spirit of God. Therefore, every believer is complete in Messiah and in possession of every spiritual blessing. However, it is the privilege and responsibility of every believer to be constantly filled (controlled) by God’s Spirit (John 14:16-17, 26; 16:7-15; Romans 8:9; 1 Corinthians 6:19, 12:13; Ephesians 1:13, 6:18; Colossians 2:10; 2 Thessalonians 2:13). At salvation the Holy Spirit imparts at least one spiritual gift to every believer for the purpose of edifying and equipping the Body of Messiah. Believers ought not to emphasize searching for their gifts, but rather giving attention to the Scriptural requirements of becoming spiritually mature in order to function in the Body. If this is done, every believer’s gift shall become evident. Although believers should earnestly desire greater spiritual gifts, individual believers should never actively seek to obtain spiritual gifts because they are given according to the sovereign choice of the Spirit of God (1 Corinthians 12:11, 31, 14:1; Ephesians 4:12; 2 Thessalonians 1:3; 1 Timothy 3:1-12; Titus 1:5-9; 1 Peter 4:10). We do not endorse the modern tongues-speaking movement for the following reasons:
It usually gives an undue prominence to a gift that had only limited value even in New Testament times (1 Corinthians 12-14).
It often suggests that tongues-speaking is the necessary evidence of the special work of the Spirit when in fact the Holy Spirit never seeks to draw attention to Himself, but He is a witness, pointing to Messiah Yeshua and the mighty deeds of God (John 14:26; 15:26, 16:7-8; Acts 2:11).
It tends to place more emphasis on tongues-speaking as an external manifestation of the Spirit than of the sanctifying work of the Spirit within the believer (Romans 15:6; Galatians 5:22-23).
It claims that “ecstatic utterance” is also tongues-speaking when the gift in New Testament times was that of speaking in previously unlearned foreign languages (Acts 2:6-11, 10:46).
It often fails to see that God sovereignly gives His gifts, not on demand, and that no one gift is for everyone (1 Corinthians 12:11).
Our position is that believers in their local bodies, should seek the more excellent way of love and be zealous about perfecting and utilizing the more useful and edifying gifts (Romans 8:13; 1 Corinthians 12:28-31, 13:1-3, 13, 14:12, 19, 23, 27-28; Galatians 5:22-23). In stating our position on the modern tongues-speaking movement, we do not mean to detract from the sincerity or Christian character of the many believers within the movement. We also believe that God has promised to physically heal according to His will. This may occur miraculously, medically or naturally. Supernatural healing may occur in response to prayer and accordance with God’s sovereign will. However, healing cannot be claimed unconditionally in this age as a result of atonement, as is salvation (Exodus 4:11; 2 Corinthians 12:7; Galatians 4:13; 1 Timothy 5:23; 2 Timothy 1:20; James 5:14-15; 1 John 5:14-15). Regardless, one does not need to affirm the continuation of the miraculous gifts of the Spirit in order to participate in this sub (nor do they need to do so in order to be saved, for that matter). Said affirmation is simply what this sub leans towards, as it is the more Biblical position to take concerning this rather emotionally vexing issue plaguing the Church.
Section 6 – Man
Man was created in the image of God to enjoy His fellowship and to fulfill His will on the earth. He was created in innocence; but by voluntary transgression, the first man, Adam, fell into sin. As a result, the whole race was plunged into condemnation and death. All mankind is born in a sinful condition and all commit sinful acts in thought, word, and deed, resulting in separation from God. From this condition of separation, man can be redeemed only by the grace of God, through faith in the completed work of Messiah Yeshua (Genesis 1:26-27, 2:17, 3:6; Ecclesiastes 7:20; Isaiah 63:6; Ezekiel 18:4; Mark 7:20-23; Romans 5:12-19, 6:23; Ephesians 2:1-7).
Section 7 – Salvation
The salvation of mankind is wholly a work of God’s grace through faith in the finished redemptive work of Messiah Yeshua. He took upon Himself human form and yet honored the divine law by His perfect obedience. By His sacrificial death He became our substitute, making full payment for the penalty of our sins. He rose from the dead and ascended into heaven where He is now enthroned, making intercession for all who believe. Salvation is not in whole or in part a result of human works of goodness (and neither are good works necessary as "evidence" of one's salvation). It can be appropriated only by personal faith in the Redeemer’s death and atonement. Through this substitutionary work, His righteousness is imparted to us. Salvation can never be lost because it is wholly dependent on the finality of Messiah’s work on our behalf. God gives assurance in His Word that all who have trusted in His Son will never be plucked from His hand. Our relationship with God, established by faith in Messiah alone for salvation, is an irreversible bond in which all believers are eternally secure. All believers, though forgiven, still have a sinful capacity in this life. The flesh will continue to wrestle with the Spirit, and the Spirit with the flesh, until the day comes that a believer will have received their new glorified body at the resurrection. In spite of these facts, God has made provision for believers to live more obediently to Him through identification with Messiah Yeshua, reliance upon the Holy Spirit’s power, and knowledge of the Scriptures (if a believer so chooses to also run the race that discipleship commands of us who are already saved through faith) (Genesis 15:6; Isaiah 53:4-6; Habakkuk 2:4; Zechariah 6:12-13; John 1:12-13, 3:16, 5:24, 10:28-29; 17:17; Acts 4:12; 10:9-10; 13:38-39; 1 Corinthians 15:1-4, 2 Corinthians 5:21, Galatians 3:26-29; Ephesians 1:7, 2:8-9; Philippians 1:6; Colossians 1:21-22, 2:14; Titus 3:5-7; Hebrews 7:25, 10:4-14; 1 Peter 2:24; 1 John 1:8, 2:2, 5:11-13). [Note, this sub believes in Free-Grace theology, as opposed to Lordship Salvation. To see the stark differences between the two, click here. Lordship Salvation, in any of its forms, will not be tolerated on this sub. Teaching and/or preaching it here could result in an instant permaban.]
Section 8 - The Body of Messiah
The universal Body or fellowship of Messiah is composed of all people, Jewish and Gentile, who through faith in Him have been regenerated by the Holy Spirit and grafted in. It began at Shavuot (Pentecost) with the immersion of the Holy Spirit after the ascension of Yeshua, and it will be completed when He returns. Membership in the universal Body is not based on any earthly organizational affiliation but on faith in Yeshua the Messiah. The local body is the visible manifestation of the universal Body. It is a congregation of believers organized for the purpose of glorifying God through worship, instruction, accountability, fellowship, service and outreach. Whereas entrance into the universal Body is based on an act of faith, entrance into the local body is based on an act of volition in obedience to God. The officers of the local congregation are elders and deacons, but the true Head to whom all are ultimately answerable is the Lord Yeshua (Acts 2:1-4, 41-42; Romans 11:29, 12:4-13; 1 Corinthians 1:2, 7:17, 11:16, 12:12-27; Ephesians 1:22-23, 2:11-22, 3:10, 4:4-16, 5:23-24; Colossians 1:18; 1 Timothy 3:1-13; Hebrews 10:19-25, 13:7, 17).
Section 9 - The Ordinances
There are two signs of the New Covenant commanded by the Messiah to be practiced by His followers. These are water Immersion and the Messiah’s Yizkor (Lord’s Supper). Water immersion, which has its origin in Jewish ritual immersion, is by immersion of the believer in water. It is meant to symbolize both one’s faith in the crucified, buried, and risen Redeemer as well as one’s own death to sin and resurrection to new life. The Messiah’s Yizkor is based on the Passover seder and is the commemoration of His death until He comes and our continual fellowship with Him. Partaking of Messiah’s Yizkor is for believers only and should always be preceded by solemn self-examination. Though we seek to be obedient to the Lord in the practice of these ordinances, we do not regard either as a means of salvation. On the contrary, they are a symbolic expression of our faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Yeshua (Matthew 26:26-29, 28:19; Acts 8:26-39; Romans 6:3-5; 1 Corinthians 11:23-32).
Section 10 - Satan and Angels
We believe in the reality and personality of Satan, a fallen angel and the open and declared enemy of God and man. He is the originator of evil; and, as god of this world, he now rules the non-believing world system. He and his agents are active in blinding mankind to spiritual truth, inciting anti-Semitism and hostility toward Israel, and attempting to defeat believers. His sin is that of pride in seeking to usurp the power, position, and glory of God. Believers can and should resist Satan by applying Scriptural truth. He is a creature and, therefore, is not omniscient or infinite; and God has placed limitations on him. He will get his due... (Isaiah 14:11-17, 19)
2020.08.20 13:42 Droid2Win31 [M4F] FL - Just a city boy born and raised in... not south detroit :D
I was born and raised in NJ, but I live in FL now. Anyway, welcome to the COVID twilight zone. We all know the drill, social distancing can be real lonely. I'm 31, single white male. Pic: https://imgur.com/69wIZyN. Overall, my life is going really well. I've got a great job, I own a home, have a wonderful family, good friends, etc. I'm a fiercely independent guy, so I have a very clear idea of what I want in a woman. Maybe that makes me too picky, but if I'm ever going to settle down with someone I want it to be the right someone. More about me? I'm a huge scifi nerd, and I'm proud of it. I work as a software engineer, so I can probably out-tech you. I'm much more inclined to buy a piece of computer tech than a new outfit, although I have been refreshing my wardrobe a bit more of late out of necessity (clothes only last so long). I have a dry, snarky sense of humor; I tease mercilessly and make fun of every situation even when it is inappropriate to do so (I don't have an off switch there). I'm highly organized and like to plan things out, I've got spreadsheets on top of spreadsheets on top of spreadsheets here. Values-wise, I was raised Jewish, but I'm very much an atheist these days. I still enjoy some parts of Judaism, but mostly the parts where I get together with my family (pre-COVID, of course :( ). Family matters to me, and I'm willing to put aside my issues with religion to enjoy a Passover Seder with my family. I'm also pretty liberal and eagerly awaiting November when we can get our wannabe dictator out of office. I care deeply about social justice and if it wasn't for this pandemic I would've been out marching with #BLM every damn day. You? I'm not picky about age/race. Physical attraction is obviously important, but I'm attracted to women of every ethnicity. Fellow atheists/agnostics are always preferred, but I'm ok with a Jewish woman, or a Christian woman who doesn't care about it beyond setting up a Christmas tree. If you absolutely believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, we probably won't work. Also, if you in any way like what Trump is doing in office, or are racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc, we will not work. Historically I haven't been into long distance, but I'm open to meeting anyone within the USA. Just trying something new. Maybe it'll just be some nice online chats, but if it evolves into something more so be it. If you live in or close to FL, that's an added bonus. If you liked any part of this, I prefer a message over Reddit Chat. Then we can find an alternative chat app, because goddamnit the communication features on this site suck haha. Talk to you soon.
2020.08.17 05:22 SD-MenCody & Shawn Tapes #1 (influences by Columbine High School massacre).
Eric Harris is filming in his home with Shawn. Eric is operating the camera. There are numerous pipe bombs on the floor, including three that Eric refers to as the "Charlie batch". He says they're 2 inches in diameter and 6 inches in length. Six appear to be about 1 inch in diameter and 6 inches in length. All are wrapped in duct tape. Also on the floor is Eric's sawed-off shotgun (he calls it "Arlene" -- the name can be seen etched on the side of the gun in the video). He identifies another gun on the floor - a long black one - as a carbine. There are thirteen clips on the floor, which Eric says they were purchased at Green Mountain Guns. "Yes, they did have the right number," he notes. There are two white boxes of 9mm bullets on the floor as well. Eric then points out something he calls "my bandolier of stuff" and said it will be filled with napalm. There's a black plastic box on the floor filled with twenty-nine CO2 cartridges wrapped with duct tape, fuses protruding from the end of each of them. The duct tape secures buckshot to the homemade mini-grenades. Eric refers to them as "crickets" and says they are his grenades. Dylan takes the camera then and he tapes Eric holding some of the guns. The tape stops, then starts again, showing Eric wearing black BDUs (battle dress uniform style pants), no shirt and a web-type harness. He's carrying the carbine attached to a sling and he is holding the shotgun. Eric sticks the shotgun into one of the cargo pockets and secures it with a web strap at his side. Shawn. makes a comment then about how Eric is a "soon to be 18 year old" [Placing the taping sometime before April 9th, Eric's birthdate.]. He goes on to refer to "my Tec" and how he wants to do something with it "this weekend, maybe tomorrow." He also says "My parents are going to fucking Passover." [Passover 1999 began on March 31 (Seder), with Good Friday on April 2, and Easter on April 4.] With ShawnBeth Beth Prom" and "Chris still using the camera, the teens move from the lower level family room of the Harris residence to Eric's bedroom. Shawn aims the camera toward the west window and calls it a "bunker". "You can't see it," says Shawn. "It's buried there. That's why it's called a bunker." *** The tape stops again and when it starts, Eric Harris is alone in a moving car. The camera seems to be mounted on the car's dashboard. It's dark out and there are raindrops on the window. At one point he passes a street sign that reads "Federal". There's music playing loudly, making it hard at times to understand what Eric is saying. At one point he mentions "The Black Jack Crew" [Eric and Shawn both worked at Stick It Pizza], specifically mentioning "Jason" and "Chris". Eric: "You guys are very cool. Sorry, dudes. I had to do what I had to do." Eric also makes mention of "Angel", "Phil", and "Bob". Eric: "Bob is one of the coolest guys I've ever met in my life, except for being an alcoholic." Eric says he's going to miss Bob. "It's a weird feeling knowing you're going to be dead in two and a half weeks." Eric says he can't decide "if we should do it before or after prom". At the end of this section of the tape Harris says he wishes he could have re-visited Michigan and "old friends". He falls silent then and appears to start crying, wiping a tear from the left side of his face. He shuts the camera off.
Hey y’all. I’m 27, non-binary and gay as hell, and am considering converting to Judaism. I was raised uber fundamentalist christian—basically a cult with no contact with the outside world until I turned 18 and left home. For the past nine years I’ve been agnostic to atheist, just kinda hovering somewhere in that range. Four years ago I started dating a Jewish girl; she doesn’t consider herself religious or observant at all but was raised Jewish and bat mitzvahed and all that. About a year ago I decided to take an intro to Judaism class—I didn’t have any intention of converting but I felt like my gf knew way more about Christianity than I knew about Judaism just by virtue of growing up in the US, and I wanted to learn more about her cultural history. I’m a naturally curious person so I was like what the heck, I’ll take a semester class once a week. What caught me off guard was how much I loved learning about Judaism. There are several aspects—one, I don’t believe the Bible is inerrant in any way shape or form, and getting a little exposure to the ways Judaism interprets the stories I was raised with, the skepticism and finding allegorical meaning in them, was really healing for me in a way. I was raised so immersed in fundamentalism, and thought I believed it until I learned there were other options, that the process of arguing with and fighting with the Bible, and not taking it literally, and admitting the writers might be wrong was huge for me. Another thing I loved was the rhythm. You were supposed to do “experiential learning” as part of the class so my gf and I started lighting candles and making challah on Fridays, saying the Shabbat blessings but mostly just using it as a way to take a step back and breathe after whatever the week had thrown at us. We had our own mini quarantine Passover Seder and used a queer Haggadah and chose to focus on the symbolism of the holiday and how it applied to our world today. I enjoyed celebrating other holidays as well, but not necessarily from a “there is a god who wants me to do this” perspective. It’s more just recognizing that cultures all through time have created god myths and stories and rituals, and those practices often have symbolism and aspects that speak to the universal human experience, god or not. I also really connected with the concept of tikkun olam and the strong push for social justice in many progressive circles. In some ways, it reminded me of the way that serving and helping others was emphasized when I was growing up, and how then I had a group to do it with. Since I left that cult, I’ve still been a service-minded person and connected with many opportunities for social justice, so this wasn’t out of the ordinary for me. I still didn’t really consider conversion until I randomly happened across this non-denominational shul in my city. What struck me so much about them was their investment in social justice, environmental justice, anti racism work, queer inclusion, etc. I was still practicing our own form of traditions with my gf, taking the parts that spoke to us and retooling the things that we couldn’t necessarily agree with. I was also enjoying relearning the stories I’d been raised with and seeing them through a radical, often queer, lens; thinking about the universal truths sometimes hidden in them and what that looked like in the world today. And so being part of a community that cared about the same things I cared about, where I could continue to practice traditions and rituals with others, to the extent I felt comfortable—these things and obviously others I’m forgetting to write down made me start to think about converting. (Gf has absolutely not pressured or suggested this—or the course—in any way at all. She’s supportive of what I want to do but it has nothing to do with our relationship, besides the fact that I might not have started learning more if we hadn’t been dating.) So here I am, in the middle of COVID, considering conversion as a former Christian and still current agnostic/sometime atheist. I know there are tons of atheist Jews, but what I guess I’m wondering is if it’s...wrong...for me to want to convert knowing that I definitely don’t have any kind of certainty about the existence of any kind of deity. If pushed, I usually will say the extent of supernatural-ity that I will admit to is some kind of collective consciousness/force created by people working together to create a better world, some kind of transcendent collective meaning we all create together. I’ve been very open about this with the rabbi I’ve discussed conversion with, and she has seemed completely fine with that. But I guess I’m just wondering if others have been in a similar position, or known someone who has, or what some outside perspectives on this are. Tia!
2020.08.13 14:28 EnterTamed❤️List of Michael Brooks' impressions ❤️ (In honor of his birthday)
Nation of Islam Obama Right-wing Mandela Self-dunk Bag-man Dave Rubin Cynical Dennis Prager Do you see Sam Seder Confrontational Maost Bernie Sanders Bratty my father Megan McCain Bernie or Bust bill Clinton Corrector in cheif George W Bush Hot-head Jimmy Dore Film noir femme fatale Hillary Clinton Tip O'Neil horney Chris Mathews Constitutioaaan Rand Paul Vampire Peter Thiel Civil war thought experiment Sam Harris Dweeb Ben Shapiro Anxiety Kermit Jordan Peterson David Avocado Wolfe Anti-SJW Martin Luther King Jr Shaky Susan Collins Gullible Chuck Schumer Male-vitality Alex Jones High-pitched Mike Bloomberg Sleepy deranged Ben Carson Michael Roberts Bro Joe Rogan Obscure reference Dennis Miller Israeli atrocities defending Israelis Documentarian Adam Curtis Maffia don Tony Sopranos (Anti-semitic Elizabeth Warren)* (Canvasing Connor Kirkpatrick)* *Rumored Let me know if I have missed any impressions...
2020.08.11 19:11 BreadTubeForeverOne of the 'left got PC so I support the right now' crowd Bret Weinstein is taking submissions for a third party Presidential campaign called the 'Unity Ticket'. If you want to nominate Vaush, or maybe Sam Seder as I've done, for this ticket's Presidential slot, you can do so from this link
Hey y'all. I'm a 17-year-old guy with some confusion about Jew stuff. (BTW, my family is extremely supportive of my stance on religion/sexuality/Israeli-Palestine/circumcision/etc. so don't worry about that haha) I truly don't believe in the stories outlined by the torah or being a "chosen person", but I do agree with some of the interpretations as a way of being a good person to yourself, others, and surroundings. I also don't keep kosher or follow all the traditions traditionally (like the seder doesn't really involve discussions about the four questions or plagues anymore, but instead involves discussion about how our people suffered as slaves back then and how it applies to life today and past events like genocides), but I still like to celebrate some of the holidays to remember my history. Much of my family was killed in the holocaust, but my grandmother is a survivor who was born in Egypt. I don't believe in the same god that many Jews do (I believe that our universe is dictated by science and that no god actually created the universe, but there is a spark and entity in all of us that gets closer to knowing the true answers to our universe and destiny). The problem is that I'm hesitant about leaving because I want to remember my history and bond with other Jews, but my beliefs and practices also contradict Judaism. I know the issue isn't so black and white, but am I really Jewish if I stopped going to temple? I'm scared of losing my history, but I wouldn't make my kids go to temple as Jews. I'd want subsequent generations to remember their history too. What do I do?
2020.07.21 20:40 memes_maymaysLive show with Anal Cunt
In college I was on the student entertainment committee or whatever the hell it was called and decided I would use my "weight" to get my old band to play with AC, Tear It Up, and Dataclast which were all crap I was listening to at the moment. Everyone else except AC couldn't do it, and my band was a stupid 60s garage rock/punk band, so the fact that we'd be opening for something like AC was irresitible and I got like $500 from the student gov't to be stupid with it. I was waiting around in my campus apt nervously for them to show up for most of the afternoon, until I heard a loud car horn blaring from the parking lot and knew it was them. I walked out to see two cars, one had a bunch of complete scumbags stepping out of it, cans of Budweiser literally rolling out of the doors as they emerged. They looked like utter pieces of shit. I introduced myself and asked where Seth was. They pointed to one of the cars where he was still sitting in the passenger seat, pounding a bottle of vodka. We went back to my apartment where my roommate had tried to impress them by having the Haunted cd blasting. Seth immediately told me to "turn this faggot shit off" and handed me his own cd to put on, which had a flaming swastika on the cover and was an album by esteemed Tom Waits soundalikes Affirmative Apartheid. I told them that I'd bought several cases of beer to entertain them, which they dug into happily. Their group was: • Seth Putnam • Josh Martin the guitarist • one of the drummer guys • Roadie #1, "Lenny", who was about 5'2 and had a half-arm. Not like he was missing part of it, but it was a birth defect arm that was only about a foot long. On the birth defect arm he had a Dungeons & Dragons tattoo. • Roadie #2, "Chris", who stood about 6'5 and had a ponytail that made him look like the guy from Game of Thrones. Seth kept making tons of "Hey I heard this school has tons of niggers and dykes" type comments to me, but when he saw that wasn't really going to impress/alarm/whatever me, they all sort of "calmed down" a bit and just focused on getting drunk. Around 6:55 they freaked out that the Simpsons was coming on and all sat down to watch. During the Simpsons episode, Seth turned to Chris and said "Hey Chris, can you put my beer down for me? I'm too fat." They started getting more drunk and kept demanding I find them "drugs". I told them I didn't really do drugs and gave them some weed, but they weren't satisfied. My Haunted-fan straightedge roommate was freaking out, worrying they'd trash the place if they didn't get drugs, so he ran out to "get drugs". A few minutes later, he came back with a tube of uncooked ketamine and told me to give it to them. I incredulously asked where the fuck he got it from, but he was all "Don't worry! Just give it to them before they go crazy!". So I gave Seth the ketamine. He asked what it was, and I said "Ketamine". He then, without hesitation, unscrewed the tube and began pouring it into his mouth. Like, gobs and gobs of it. Martin was all "Don't bogart that shit!" and took a bunch into his own mouth. They kept drinking until I told them we should really get over to the venue (an on-campus site) to start getting ready for the show. I get in a car with Martin driving. Seth tells me about how GG Allin once asked them to be his backing band, and we bonded over both owning Johnny Rebel records. Then out of nowhere he grabbed the steering wheel and whipped it to the right, sending us off the road and careening across the grass. Martin got back onto the road and dismissed it with "Stop being a jerk!" as Seth apparently did "wacky" stuff like that all the time. We get to the venue and start setting things up, and my bandmates are all deciding to play a three song set and get the fuck off campus before there's a riot. As I'm helping them set up, Seth realizes the beer is still in my apartment. Chris and I decide to walk back to get it. We do so, and away from the rest of the band I learn that Chris would like to study audio engineering and had considered SUNY Purchase at some point. I ask him if AC really gets into a lot of trouble at shows, and if they really need him. "Oh, absolutely, all the time. And if its too much, I always have this." He pulls up his pantleg to reveal a gun in his boot. As we continue back, we pass by an apartment with the blinds drawn, inside are a bunch of students having a Passover seder. "Hey! Let's cut holes in some sheets and run in there!" gleefully remarks Chris. I advise him we should probably get to the show instead. We get to the venue, and Seth (who is wearing sweatpants) is passed out face-down in front of the stage, snoring. My band sets up and goes on, and its completely uncomfortable as about 200 people not from campus are standing far, far in the back of the room not giving a shit about our shitty music. We end the set and Seth gets up, grabs the mic, and says "Let's hear it for Syd Barrett." Then he pulls me aside and says "Is there anything I can't do?" I tell him just to not lay a finger on me or my little brother, but otherwise to have a blast. Seth is too fucked up to stand, and is probably still tired from his nap, so he elects to sit on the front of the stage in his sweatpants. He declares that he's "a bit parched" and asks my brother to bring him some Sprite. The set is delayed 10 minutes while my brother finds a vending machine and brings the soda back. They launch into 2 hours of cruelty, blastbeats, racism, misogyny, etc. It was one of the funniest things I'd ever witnessed live. Seth kept going on and on about how "we" should not have to put up with movies like Save The Last Dance being made. He brought up Save The Last Dance about 15 times. He pointed at a girl in the front in an army jacket and said "People like you and me didn't fight in 'Nam just so we could raise kids in a world where Chinese people drive." The real fun started when Seth noticed two Nazi skinheads hanging out. Seth pointed at them and said "This one goes out to wigger faggots like you two, two years ago you were hanging out in your bedroom listening to 311." They then played 311 Sucks. After the song, one of the skinheads said "Fuck you". Seth dropped the microphone and tried to grab a table to throw at the guy. This guy was also like 6'6. People held onto the table so he couldn't throw it. Seth picked the mic back up and told the skinheads again that they were "pussy race-traitor wigger faggots" and then tossed the mic stand in one of their faces. The big guy went to kick Seth's ass, but then Chris stood in front of him with his arms folded, smiling, just shaking his head "No". The set continued, eventually they ran out of songs and decided to do some Picnic Of Love tracks, with Seth just holding the microphone up to his stomach. He started making fun of an Asian woman in the crowd. A kid from the Student Gov't ran up to me and said "Tell them to stop! This ends now! Over!" I said "Actually, you can tell them to stop" and we looked at the stage to see Seth goosestepping and seig-heiling. The kid called me a dick and ran off. Two minutes later, the fire alarm went off, which I'm convinced the Student Gov't kid had pulled. Chris calmly walked over to the fire alarm, yanked it out of the wall, and spiked it like a football. Regardless the lights went on and campus safety showed up. I was already in trouble, and AC wanted to avoid getting arrested, so I walked Seth back to his car so that at least he wouldn't be arrested for extremely clear public intoxication, among other things. On the walk over, he kept alternating between "You really are a faggot for booking us" and "You know this is all a joke, right?" At one point he said "You're Jewish, right?" and turned my wrist over to see if I had any tattoos. I walked him to the car and thanked him for playing a wonderful evening. I then ran back to my apartment because I saw cops everywhere, and skinheads roaming around. Back at my apartment, I had two friends visiting from Long Island, and had to give them a ride back to the train station in White Plains. They gathered their things, we laughed about how ridiculous the day had been, and took off. Returning to campus with my friend, we saw both of AC's cars crashed into each other, surrounded by cop cars. We ducked our heads down and headed back to my apartment, not wanting anything to do with whatever drunk driving insanity had occurred. A week later, I emailed Josh to thank him for the show, make sure their check arrived, and let him know that "I'd heard they'd gotten into a fender bender after the show" and if everything was ok. He responded "Everything was great! We were fucking around on the drive out and smashed into each other. The cops came and we just told them that we were rushing off campus because skinheads were chasing us. They fixed our car and escorted us to the Hutchinson River Parkway and we made it back to Boston without a scratch! Thanks!"
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